Maturity: Say What?
If asked to pick one character from the Bible who exemplifies maturity, who would you choose? Some might go with Abraham or King David or perhaps Abigail in the OT. The NT offers us other names from which to choose, like Mary or Peter or John. Any list however, would be incomplete apart from the Apostle Paul’s name. From his life, I invite us to consider one aspect of what maturity might look like.
Paul has three revelations about himself worthy of note. The first is situated amidst Paul’s creedal statement about what's central to the Christian faith. We find it in 1 Corinthians 15: For what I received I passed on to you as of first importance: that Christ died for our sins…that he was buried, that he was raised on the third day. He goes on to list a number of people to whom Jesus then appeared, that last of which is Paul himself. Notice however, what Paul then says, v9) For I am the least of the apostles and do not even deserve to be called an apostle for I persecuted the church of God.
Most of us might want to argue with Paul about his self-description. After all, our faith is a result of his work to the Gentiles. Of course, we understand what he is saying because before Christ he was a nemesis to the church. Is Paul simply being humble here? The answer is “yes”, but it is not a false humility. He understands what was true about himself. But is there more to his self-deprecation? I think so.
The next self-revelation comes in a letter written to the believers at Ephesus. In chapter 3, v8, Paul says that he is the least of the saints. If any of us were watching Paul’s love for God and his service to God’s people, we would undoubtedly disagree with his assessment. The first proclamation we might be able to let slide given what he did in his past. But now Paul is saying I am, as in right now, least of the saints. Wow, that seems harsh. In today’s climate, and even within the Christian subculture, we might advise Paul to seek out a counselor. He seems to be carrying too much guilt and shame. He is way too hard on himself. He needs to be more positive, some might assert. But I am going to assume that our culture and our opinions are wrong, and that Paul is quite healthy. Perhaps he understands something we don’t but should, something that is actually hopeful. And Paul is not finished. First, he calls himself the least of the apostles. Then he he declares himself to be the least of the saints. Notice that his categories are widening, from a select group to a larger segment of God’s people.
A third and final self-reflective comment on Paul’s part. And before we read it, let’s understand that Paul is not writing about himself for his sake. His great passion is to help believers like you and me mature, to understand what is involved in the spiritual maturation process, perhaps a process that is a bit surprising and certainly counter-intuitive. With this in mind, we go to 1 Timothy 1 where we read these words: Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst. But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners… Worst of sinners? Seriously, Paul? No one looking at Paul’s life would come close to making that assertion. And it is not just once that he says it about himself. What gives?
Years ago, Dr. Larry Crabb was summoned for an interview on the corner of the campus at Colombine High School in Denver. One of the earliest of our tragic school shootings had just transpired and a local Christian TV station wanted to interview this noted Christian psychologist. As the cameras were recording, the newswoman asked Dr Crabb this question: How are we to understand this senseless act of violence?, to which Larry responded, Until we understand that what was happening inside those two troubled young men is also transpiring in each of our hearts, we won’t get very far. At those words, the interviewer became incensed and said with raised voice, I would never do such a thing!, and with that she stormed off bringing the interview to a premature end.
Perhaps Larry was speaking the Apostle Paul’s language. Perhaps Paul could describe himself as he did NOT because of what one might see outwardly but rather because of what Paul knew about himself inwardly. He knew what he was capable of. He knew how he could be motivated by insecurity, capable of being critical and judgmental and impatient. In these three self-revelations, Paul has now gone from least of the apostles, to least of the saints, and finally worst of sinners. I get it. Certainly, Paul is not encouraging comparison. Rather, he simply knows what is true about himself. And all this by a man most if not all would consider a pillar of maturity.
Now, I have left out an important detail. Here it is: there is a chronological order to these three self-revelations on Paul’s part. In other words, the older he gets, the worse his evaluation. This fact suggests that as Paul gets older, as he comes to understand the Gospel, as he becomes even more aware of the pervasive and insidious nature of sin, to which the Gospel is good news, he grows more troubled about who he is. Scot Sauls, author and pastor, once wrote, The more we become like Jesus, the less we feel like Jesus. CS Lewis weighs in in similar fashion when he wrote, I have been trying to make the reader believe that we actually are, at present, creatures whose character must be, in some respects a horror to God, as it is, when we really see it, a horror to ourselves. This I believe to be a fact: and I notice that the holier a man is, the more fully he is aware of that fact.
We should not be surprised by this reality, for when Isaiah came into the presence of God, he became acutely aware of his deep unworthiness. Standing on the seashore and recognizing who Jesus is, Peter would exclaim, Depart from me for I am a sinful man. The closer we get to God the more we are going to discover how unlike him we are. This is part of what maturity looks like. It might be surprising to propose this given what we had imagined or were taught. This leads then to a definition for maturity I wish to propose: Maturity is a growing awareness of my sinfulness that leads to an even deeper appreciation of God’s mercy and grace. If this is true, our understanding and appreciation of the Gospel of Jesus Christ will continue to deepen and it will be an ever-increasing anchor to which we cling. Faith will become more about what God has done and less about what I am doing or not doing. And that is good news indeed!
Kent