Returning “Home”
In a recent blog post by Scot McKnight, I read these words: Americans are spending less time with other people than in any other period for which we have trustworthy data, going back to 1965. A paragraph or so later, McKnight offers this “big idea”: Over the past few months, I’ve spoken with psychologists, political scientists, sociologists, and technologists about America’s anti-social streak. Although the particulars of these conversations differed, a theme emerged: The individual preference for solitude, scaled up across society and exercised repeatedly over time, is rewiring America’s civic and psychic identity. And the consequences are far-reaching—for our happiness, our communities, our politics, and even our understanding of reality.
In short, we are detached and we are not better off because of it.
Those of us who believe deeply in relationality as central to who God is and who we are, grieve this disturbing trend and its negative effects. We also believe that faith formation primarily transpires in the context of meaningful relationships. I was reminded of this truth again in my Scripture reading. Our church has a reading program called “Pathways" and the passages for a particular day were Nehemiah 4 and Acts 14. From these text I want to consider the importance—that is not strong enough—consider a critical component of maintaining a vibrant faith.
In Nehemiah, the exiles have returned home to rebuild the walls and gates of their great city Jerusalem. The work is overwhelming. The people are spread out around the city, each group of workers responsible for a section of the wall. Opposition is present. There are those seeking to hinder the work, to create distraction and discouragement, led by two shysters named Sanballet and Tobiah. I also imagine the possibility of futility seeping in not to mention a loneliness given they are scattered about. At one point the text tells us that because the threat is serious, the workers are working with one hand while holding a spear in the other (I suspect that is a bit metaphorical). And then we read these words of Nehemiah in chapter 4:19--The work is extensive and spread out, and we are widely separated from each other along the wall. Wherever you hear the sound of the trumpet, join us there. Our God will fight for us! The thought of these workers spread out, laboring under oppression, tired and discouraged, but then drawn together on occasion by the sound of the trumpet, resonated within me. There is a strength in numbers, at least with a few others who are about the same work.
And then came Acts 14. Paul and Barnabas have been on their first missionary journey. Much has been accomplished for the sake of God and the Gospel. But they too, have been met with strong opposition. Finally, they return to Antioch where they report on what God has done, a city where the Gospel had been well received. They remained there for an extended period of time we are told. Antioch, as it were, became a “home base.”
We all need a home base. I want to ask these questions without judgment or without any intent of creating guilt: “Do you have or recognize a home base, some place to which you can return when the work is met with opposition or you're tired and feel scattered? Are there people to whom you can report about what God is doing in you and through you?” In this increasingly disjointed culture, including the church culture, we are in desperate need to have a place that anchors us. By place, I mean people. Nehemiah rallied the people together on occasion when the threat was great. Paul and Barnabas returned to a group of people who had sent them out, who cared deeply for them. In each case, there is a place defined by people, what I am calling a “home base.”
Years ago, God brought Karla and I together with four other couples who serve as our home base. I had never defined this group in this manner until reading these passages, but it became clear to me the role they have played and continue to play in our lives. We no longer live in close proximity to these couples. But the friendships remains intact, ever as important today as when we lived within a few miles of one another. When I am discouraged, this is who I think of. These honest strugglers are who I long to be with. Just recently one couple reached out about coming down to our home. It wasn’t going to work because of scheduling but I felt deep sadness over the loss. Our presence with each other strengthens us as we continue our God-given work in our various corners of the world.
What defines a home base? A few things come to mind. Like-mindedness or like-heartedness might be better. We are about the same thing even though separated by distance. Our hearts are bent not toward each other but toward God and that “bent” is what bonds us with each other. Secondly, we experience opposition, whether within or without or both. That opposition reminds us that we are doing good work, but it also speaks to our desire to be comforted (a word that can mean “strengthened”) in the work God has given each of us. Thirdly, a home base is a place where the mutuality of giving and receiving is experienced. This is true within the trinitarian community. It was also true in Paul’s day. Paul and Barnabas spoke to the believers in Antioch of God’s good work in the cities they had visited, encouraging the hearts of those who sent them out. But equally true, P & B received from those people encouragement and strength. Finally, a home base is marked by authenticity, people who can speak truthfully about their lives and into my life.
I struggle to know how to end this. I pray that each of us can be a home base to others and that we each have a person or two, a small group perhaps, that can be that for us.